recently, i've been.. a bit down, put it lightly.
and it mostly boils down to how people see me.
how guys see me.
and i don't mean how they don't see me, that i'm never looked at, blah blah.
because they always seem to like me. which is fine, or it was, but i've just started to feel like i'm doing something wrong, like why am i getting this attention? is it cos i look like a whore? a skank?
it's mainly me realising how many guys friends i've lost, because they never can just see me as a friend. it always seems to lead to more. and it's just made me feel insecure about it all.
oh no, poor me, guys like me, fuck's sake MY LIFE IS CLEARLY OVER.
it's mostly about not being able to trust them. does it matter if i have a boyfriend? no. "you're so beautiful." "you're hot/fit/whatever." "i keep thinking about you."
coming from close friends, who know me well, all my insecurities, and fears.. fuck's sake, what is wrong with them? what is wrong with me?
i'm rambling a lot. i'll go over this at some point, revise it etc.
